Ragequit Imminent
|connectedresources = |bonusresources = }} A Rift in the Space-Time Continuum Despite what the official chronicles state, Louisaland seems to have survived past its GOONish time, a statement we base on the following: * we have scattered documents showing the country entering the hallowed halls of TOP; * there are confirmed reports of burkaninja participation in the NoCB War; * and shockwaves went around Bob upon the news that Louisaland had been attacked with a nuclear device by the undoubtedly evil Lord Harun of the NpO. In fact, this last may in some metaphysical way have contributed to the country's disappearance some time later. We do know the country was still in existence a month after the war, but then all traces suddenly vanish. Was the Polarian atom bomb perhaps fitted with an experimental plane-shift modulator? Or did the Great Divine Burkaninja's computer suddenly die? We may never know the truth, but scholars are unanimous that the burkaninjas in fact did suddenly burst upon the scene a few months later. Burkaninjastan, Wherefore Art Thou Not More Gooder? Besides the positive identification of the newcomers as burkaninjas, further proof (should any be needed) is that they erupted from the very same cave on the shores of Kalkfontein as had the aboriginal burkaninjas of Louisaland. What happened next is somewhat harder to both document and explain. After having started a settlement in the ancient homeland, and calling it Burkaninjastan, all seemed to go splendidly and cheers were incoming from around the four corners of Bob. And then ... gone! The tribe was suddenly taken from the land (brought upon a fiery chariot to the very Heavens, as the surrounding tribes proclaim), a mere week after first appearing. Scientists were just starting to apply for grants to fund research expeditions to the area when, just a day or two later, news arrived that Burkaninjastan was once more firmly rooted to the spot—though some temporal reassignments of natural valuables had obviously occurred during the country's brief disappearance. The all-clear signal was gazetted throughout Bob and all people of righteous mind and kind souls breathed easier, knowing the burkaninjas were once again there to protect them from a cruel, uncaring Bobpulace. Only to be stunned when the country vanished again a week later. This time the confusion proved even greater, although certain smug elements suggested a wait-and-see approach would prove safest. And lo! they were proven correct as an apparently identical, though significantly different, Burkaninjastan popped out of the Birth Cave mere days later. This time, Bob started to get fed up with the whole thing, and not too many eyebrows rose skywards as news came that the country had once more vanished at the end of a week. Cursed, said the naysayers; blessed like the Avalonian Isle, said the goodly. Here the historical record becomes spotty once more, undoubtedly because all these dimensional shifts created an instability zone connected to all things burkaninja, but after one, or two, or more, further appearances and evaporations, an obviously more stable country was found rooted to the holy ground. Ragequit Imminent No native sources can tell why the country was named thus in its latest (final?) incarnation, and scholars speculate that the appellation may in fact have been applied by the neighbouring tribes, most likely in the hopes or fears that the fate of the Burkaninjastans would soon come walking up the path from the lakeshore, waving a knobbly oaken staff and consigning the burkaninja country to whatever unfathomable region its forebears had vanished into. The burkaninjas themselves seem to have enjoyed nurturing this belief, to throw their neighbours offguard for future enterprises (as the detractors put it). Thus, the country was initially labelled free and unattached and, when that failed to invite scurrilous ne'er-do-wells, the proud flag of "no u" was raised high atop the hill by the lake. This met a similar fate, at which the burkaninjas seem to have given up in exasperation and simply announced the formation of The Polesotechnic League. Under that honourable nomen (and surely too, numen) the burkaninjas have prospered as technological blackguards, selling cheaply various contraptions cobbled together in a large shack by the hillside. Despite the appearance of random assemblies of modern art, said mechanical instruments have proven marvellously adaptive: once purchased by a more advanced culture, and plugged into whatever passes for an electrical grid over there, the geegaws instantly and automatically upgrade themselves to fit the technological level of the buyer's nation. Many have tried, but none succeeded, in copying this wondrous process and we are surely not far wrong when we state that this, this, ladies and gentlemen, will ultimately lead to burkaninjan technology saturating Bob and reducing the rest of the world to a state of helpless vegetables, unable to so much as cook an egg without relying totally on these shining baubles. Taking Over the World /in progress/ Category:Louisaland